1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Quite a few things, actually. Belly dancing, for one. I also employed my first full-time staff member. And participated in a podcast. Ooh, and I got published! And started playing drums. And started getting media invitations to events. And went to Bloemfontein for the first time. And saw my Spanish football heroes in the flesh. Gosh, turns out it was quite a year.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t recall making any, which is odd, because I’m sure I usually do. And then I keep exactly zero of them. So perhaps I’ve inadvertently stumbled on the secret to achievement. I will set some goals this year, however. Nice easy ones that I can reach in the first week or two. “Lose 50 grams”, “Learn one new word”, “Send an email”, “Cuddle the cats”, that sort of thing.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
At a house party in Oranjezicht, eating pizza and drinking French wine. I think it’s going to be absolutely lovely. And it may well be the first time Paul and I have actually had plans for NYE more than a week in advance. Either they’ve invited us there so that they can throw us in the pool and point and laugh, or we’ve actually… *gasp*… finally managed to scrub the L off our collective forehead.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. Thank goodness. I’m honestly not sure what that would have done to me.

5. What countries did you visit?
Bloemfontein is a country, right? Other than that, none… sadly. I have very bad travelbugalitis right now.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
The ability to set boundaries. And tuna steaks every weekend. And a trip to Paris. No, seriously.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
17 June. The day I saw Fernando Torres and Iker Casillas playing on a field right in front of me, for the first time.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Hearing the words “Well done!” from someone that I like and respect immensely, in response to a job that I truly enjoyed doing.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Allowing myself to get too busy to remember birthdays and stay in contact with friends and family.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Let me count the ways: My thyroid function dipped again earlier in the year, the dysplasia and arthritis in my hip made me cry frequently, I had laryngitis twice, and I ended the year with tendonitis in my foot. My body is an awesome fighting machine. Unfortunately it mostly fights with ME.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets for the Spain/South Africa Confederations Cup game in Bloemfontein. I’ve never experienced an atmosphere like that in my life. 2010 will have to work hard to top it.

12. Where did most of your money go?
Into my business.

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Snow Patrol – Hands Open.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Spending time with my parents. Writing for pleasure. Reading. Belly dancing.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Surfing the web. Tidying the house. Getting frustrated. Coaxing William down from the roof.

16. What was your favourite TV programme?
Black Books. I think they wrote it just for me. It’s ridiculously funny. And also just ridiculous.

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nah. I’m not a hater. There are several people who’ve been removed from my Christmas card list this year, though. (It’s just a metaphorical Christmas card list, so don’t worry if you didn’t get a Christmas card from me – it doesn’t mean you’re off the list. Doesn’t mean you’re on it either, of course. You’ll never know. Mwa ha ha ha ha.)

18. What was the best book you read?
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. It takes a lot for a contemporary book to make it into my Top 10, because I’m usually all about the Anna Kareninas, the Jane Eyres and the Pride and Prejudices. The Shadow of the Wind cracked the nod, though.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I found a plectrum I thought I’d lost. Oh, I see, not like that. Um… Snow Patrol, oddly enough. I know, it’s nothing earth-shattering or sophisticated, but it’s beautiful and makes me feel happy/melancholy/more like me.

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
District 9. Truly. It was fresh and unconventional, and didn’t try to preach to me. In other words, it was the opposite of Avatar.

21. What did you do on your birthday?
I worked, which is very unusual for me – I always insist on taking off on my birthday. But this year I couldn’t. I did have the bestest birthday party ever with fellow July-1976-baby Elan, though, which involved crazy outfits, 80s music, lots of dancing, tequila, and Saul’s burgers at 3.30am.

22. What kept you sane?
My cats. It’s true. They’re cuddly and fluffy, and there’s (almost) nothing that cuddliness and fluffiness can’t fix.

23. Who did you miss?
My brother (I don’t suppose I’ll ever stop missing him), and my sister-in-law, niece and nephew (who all live in Sydney). I also found myself missing my grandparents more often than ever before, even though they all died more than 10 years ago.

24. Who was the best new person you met?
I met so many wonderful new people this year that picking out one just wouldn’t be fair. Or truthful. Each of them is the best in their own way.

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Have a plan in place for what you would say if you suddenly came face to face with a celebrity (or group of footballers) that you’ve always wanted to meet. Or you will end up feeling silly and disappointed. And silly. And SILLY. Oh the shame, how it burns.

Although I’ve had plenty of good experiences and gotten to know a lot of awesome people this year, it’s been a hard year for me. I wasn’t sorry to say goodbye to 2008.

What follows is a collection of thoughts that I posted to the Business Warriors forum a few days after my brother’s death. I hope you find them thought-provoking, and take them to heart.

On Friday, just minutes after I’d posted my request for text-books on the forum, my phone rang. As I answered, I noticed that it was an Australian number – assuming it to be my big brother (who immigrated to Sydney in 2001) phoning to say hi, I answered chirpily.

I was surprised to hear my sister-in-law’s voice instead, and as soon as I asked her how she was, I realised that something was very very wrong. With disbelief and horror I heard her telling me that my 43-year-old brother had just passed away, after suffering a heart attack.

I hadn’t seen my brother since 2004, when Paul and I visited the family in Sydney. My parents and other brother hadn’t seen him since Easter 2001, just before he left for Australia with his wife and two children. My brothers and I had begun planning to save up and surprise our parents with a big family reunion this coming Christmas. It was the one thing that ALL of us wanted more than anything in the world. Much more than a fancy house, a smart car, exciting work, or bags of money – I just wanted to have my family together for an awesome Christmas to remember.

Now this will never be, and our family is devastated.

Given my sudden forced change of perspective, I have a few suggestions for you for 2008:

1. If you are not close to members of your family, make an effort to fix that – they are more precious than you can imagine. Blood IS thicker than water, and NOTHING can replace the knowledge that your family values you. The members of my family aren’t perfect – each of us has had our issues, some of them really tough ones. But we’d managed to see past those, to forgive each other for the pain we’d caused one another over the years and to grow incredibly close over the past two years. For that I am deeply grateful.

2. If you are spending your time complaining about silly mundane things, get some perspective. Put that energy into making your relationships better and spending time with the people you value, both friends and family. Those things will become very very unimportant on the day you lose someone you love. Trust me, the way I feel about the loss of my internet connection or my elecricity supply has got nothing on the way I feel about the loss of my brother. And dwelling on trivial things simply saps energy from your relationships.

3. Make the time to have your health checked, thoroughly – not for your own sake, but for the sake of those who love you. We all subconsciously think we’re invincible – you aren’t, so take care of yourself.

4. If you have family far away, call them and email them often. Your clients can wait. Your family can’t. I often thought of phoning my brother to chat, but was always too busy on other people’s urgent work – I would give anything now to have those hours and minutes back just to laugh with him and share the day-to-day trivialities of our lives.

5. Tell them you love them. I’m so glad that the last time I spoke to my brother (on Christmas Day), I told him that I loved him before I said goodbye. I’m also glad that we’d come to a place of being able to tell one another how much we valued each other as people – even though we didn’t grow up in a particularly touchy-feely household.

6. Realise that there may not be a better time than now to do whatever it is you really want to do. Working yourself to a standstill to afford a better car, a better house and better clothing does not constitute living. Spending time laughing with the people you love – ah, now that’s a life.

Please keep my family in your thoughts; this has been really hard on my parents, as well as on my brother’s children (aged 17 and 15). And as much as I’m trying to be strong, the truth is that my world has crumbled. I loved my brother so very much, and can’t bear the thought of life without him.

One of my favourite photos of my brother and I, taken back in the late 70s

I was privileged to get to meet Matt Mullenweg, the founding developer of WordPress, this weekend, after he spoke at Wordcamp SA.

He made quite an impression on those of us who heard him and interacted with him. The first thing that everyone will tell you is how incredibly humble he is. Seriously seriously humble. He’s a gentle, softly-spoken, well-mannered young man (he’s only 24) – not a hint of ego or arrogance about him.

One of the SA bloggers, who didn’t know what Matt looked like, met him on Friday evening and not realising who he was speaking to, asked, “So, what do you do?” Matt’s answer, without any irony as far as I can tell, was “I’m a blogger.”

So that’s lesson #1 – even if you’ve created what is arguably the best blogging platform in the world, you can still be an amazingly nice guy.

Lesson #2 – when Matt started his talk on Saturday, he said, “It’s so great to be here in San Fran… whoops, I mean Cape Town…” When this was mentioned on someone’s blog later, and the blogger suggested that maybe it was more than just a slip of the tongue, Matt left a comment saying, “Maybe it was…” The implication is that Cape Town is a hotbed of tech activity, like Silicon Valley, with a host of exciting start-ups in operation, and a wealth of tech knowledge and expertise. This makes me incredibly positive, and incredibly pleased to be living in this place at this time. I wouldn’t trade it for anything right now, not even Paris.

Lesson #3 – the economy is changing. And I don’t mean the petrol price and the rising cost of bread and milk. I mean the way we charge for products, and the way we exchange things of value. Matt chooses to provide WordPress free of charge, not because it’s a way to hook potential customers into buying his other products, but because he and millions of other open-source advocates hold the fundamental belief that software, information and art should be free and open-source. Business owners need to pay attention to the way that the economy is shifting – it might affect your business at some point. Just ask Microsoft about that.

Lesson #4 – be selfless and don’t approach everything in life with the attitude of “how can I monetise this?” Matt developed WordPress because he was unsatisfied with the CMS software available at the time. He didn’t start out with the intention of creating an empire. He shared what he was doing, because he figured that others might be able to use it too. The business aspect grew later.

Lesson #5 – take as many photos as you can. Matt’s Twitter username is photomatt, and there’s a really good reason for this. He takes many many many photos (he also has an awesome camera, but that’s another story). Now because Paul and I run a photoblog we take a lot of photos too, but they’re mostly of buildings and landscapes and things. Matt takes photos of everyone, so his blog is an incredible record of the places he’s been, the things he’s done, and most importantly, the people he’s connected with. I’ve resolved to take more photos of people from now on, as a reminder of the connections I’ve made.

Lesson #6 – one of the statements Matt made in his talk is that the Web is a meritocracy. The merits of your ideas will determine your success. If your ideas are good and add value to people’s lives, your legacy will be enduring. This kind of ties in with lesson #4 – go about your life adding value, and not trying to squeeze money out of every single thing. If people like what you’re doing, you’ll find a way to turn it into a lifestyle.

Lesson #7 – don’t discount anyone based on their age, gender, nationality or any other distinguishing traits. We tend to think that guys like Mark Zuckerberg are the exception rather than the rule when it comes to being successful web entrepreneurs. Think again. I can point you to a fair number of bright young things under the age of 25 and a host of them under 30 who are pioneering in the tech arena in South Africa, some even doing big deals with media companies like Vodacom and Naspers. It’s not just the VCR that they learnt to programme at a young age. They are bright, savvy, energetic and committed. For them, life is work and work is life – the two are completely intertwined.

And finally, lesson #8 – use Firefox. The highlight of Matt’s talk (for a room full of geeks) was when he told us that there actually is advertising on wordpress.com (who knew?), BUT you’ll only see these ads IF you’ve never visited wordpress.com before AND you’ve never visited a WordPress blog AND you’re not using Firefox.

This is far too rich for poetry
Far too heavy for tears;
What is that thread that binds
My wound to yours,
Till, bleeding, I can scarce recognise
Your dark scars from mine?

You have come a long way
Through the corridors of my mind;
I have travelled too, long distances
In your hazy memory,
And when we meet behind the blur of tears
You know that our meeting
Was not the casual need of a passing hour;

In you I have met men
Carrying banners to the mountains
Dragging their feet upon the stones;
In you I have seen the victor
Smiling at visions of glory;
In you I have also seen the broken
Idol of clay;
You have been my enemy barricaded in
Your silence,
Battering me wordlessly, soundlessly,
While I crumple up before your indifference.

You have been my friend,
When I stood clawing the air
Looking for mental footholds
In the shifting precipices of my mind
And you lifted me gently,
From the deeps of my thoughts,
Smoothened the creases
Upon my brow,
And silenced the queries in my eyes,
And in that moment I believed once again
In illusions of understandings
Beneath mounds of mistrust and hurt.